Exhausted and overwhelmed

Late at night, the house still, children sleeping, a heavy feeling of overwhelm felt like it was suffocating me. Exhausted and alone, I felt a deep sadness, a sense of guilt and fear all at once.  To be honest, I wondered what it might be like to just sleep and not wake up.  Tears falling, my body weak, I felt ashamed.  I love my child, sometimes, the exhaustion, the loneliness takes over, I am overwhelmed.  I gazed at my child lying peacefully asleep, silently and said I love you.  Please help me find my strength.

Parent, neurodiverse child.